H&A Epic Hobbit Adventure
by Bloody-kick-ass
Summary: Two friends mysteriously appear in an unfamiliar land. How will they survive? OC1/Kili, OC2/Legolas, self insert, follows the movies, rated M for language and descriptive violence
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

The World could never know important events would happen before they happened. It was taken by surprise by everything that happened, happens and will happen. But The World was old. Every day things like Birth and Death did their work around The World and after some time The World got used to it.

Needless to say, when two seemingly ordinary girls were born The World never suspected anything wrong. The first girl seemed normal when growing up, having a relatively normal childhood and normal friends. The second girl didn't stick out of her peers either. Sure, they were a bit enthusiastic about stories of magic and unreal creatures, but what child wasn't? While growing up they dreamed of fantastic worlds so much different than The World they were living in, just as many other child has done before them.

They didn't seem different than any other child to The World.

But one day, the girls met.

And soon, an odd friendship was born.

The World didn't take much notice of their friendship though.

The World had lived too long to think it was of any importance to him.

But The World didn't know something.

Something odd was brewing in the lives of the girls.

And when it finally reaches its boiling point…

The World will never know what hit it.


	2. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1  
"They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said NO NO NO!" Laughter and off key singing echoed through the dense park woods. Hannah and Alice, two teenage girls, celebrating their recent high school graduation, ventured forth through the trees towards their favorite coffee shop, their shoes splashing in the small puddles created by the recent summer rain on the dirty paved path. From afar, they might have been seen as just an ordinary pair of young women enjoying each others company, but once one stepped closer to the sight, they noticed the odd interaction of the two. Hannah and Alice were quite different on the outside, one being a slim, slightly tanned red head wearing a grey cat eared hoody, blue jeans and her usual Garfield shirt, and the other an extremely pale shorter curvy blonde covered with a tan knitted hoody, black jeans and a black shirt adorning a pair of rimless glasses on the bridge of her nose. Despite this, anyone could see they had very similar personalities: their words fast, a mix of English and their native language, usually followed by laughter and spontaneous bursts into song in the middle of a sentence. They seemed to share their thoughts, making their conversations very interesting and odd to any on looker.  
"I still can't believe we are going to university soon" Exclaimed Alice, interrupting their appalling re enactment of 'Under The Sea'.  
"Yeah, the summer seems to have just-"  
"Completely vanished under our sleepy eyes?"  
"Well put, exactly"  
"Thank you, I try" Laughter followed the short conversation, just as usual.  
While entrapped in their antics, the friends failed to notice the change in their surroundings. The path through the woods became denser, less light seeping through the leaves than before, creating a foreboding atmosphere. There were less and less passerby's, until eventually the duo was left alone. Soon, the trees around them started to look older, fiercer, the grass greener, the path smaller.  
"Rabbit!" Squealed Alice, catching the sight of a fluffy tail in the corner of her eye.  
"Bull, there are no rabbits in these parts... Wait a minute." Hannah, always the worrier, stopped their walk."Where the hell are we?!"  
" I don't know, we walked the same path as always, but things started changing a while back. Such a cute rabbit." The blonde smiled goofily without a thought, proving that her hair color was given to her correctly.  
"Why the hell did you not say anything?!"  
"Chill, I figured the park woods are small, we'll come out of them somewhere. Besides, I got a knife, we're cool." Alice flung her arms around in a multitude of gestures, as if to prove her point further.  
"Jesus fucking Christ we are so not getting to the coffee place today! Let's turn back and try to find the usual path again." Hannah, annoyed, turned on the spot and started to march back to where they came from, a slight stomp to her steps.  
"But-"  
"MOVE"  
"Ok" Whining, her friend skipped after her, now trying to figure out how to get out of this predicament.  
"I KNOW!" A thought passed through her brain. " GPS, bitchez!" She immediately started digging through her pockets, urging Hannah to do the same.  
"No. NO. NOOOOO!" Birds flew from the trees, startled by the blonde's decibels.  
"Yours is dead too? Weird" Hannah soon broke her calm yet frustrated exterior "My poor phone, what has it ever done to deserve this?" And soon the friends started sniffling and whining, which slowly turned into chuckles and full blown laughter.  
"Shouldn't we have gone back to where we came from by now?"  
"Yeah.." An uneasy silence fell onto the company. After some time, the realization sunk in to the girls: they were completely lost.


	3. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2  
We wandered for a long time, Hannah and I. When we finally both agreed we were lost the sun, as much as we could see it through the trees and slightly heavy clouds, had already begun to set. We didn't know where we were, or how we got here, or what dangers this place could send our way. We momentarily panicked, but quickly I remembered all the survival shows and lectures I have heard and read about. Now the only problem besides being lost in a random forest was figuring out what to do first.  
"Alright, I'm hungry, tired, and it's getting darker by the minute. I say we light a fire." A logical opinion, as always, came from my friend. Quickly thinking through the idea of a fire, I almost immediately mewed and started rambling.  
"Yeah, OK, let's think that through. Pros: we're warm, we have light, we have a place to cook possible food and sleep, someone might see the fire and help us out, forest animals would be scared off and wouldn't bother us -"  
"Exactly, let's do it!"  
"Unfortunately there are also many cons generated by my paranoid mind: we could set the forest and ourselves on fire, we could attract unwanted and possibly danger bearing attention, and, of course, we also have no idea how to start a fire in the woods."  
"I thought you said you know how to do all this survival stuff!"  
"Yeah, I know how, I just fail whenever I try" I snorted a little, amused of Hannah's annoyed expression, which really was her normal face around me.  
"So, no fire" Looking peeved at the shake of my head, she spun around in place and started looking around.  
"We need at least a relatively safe place to sleep, start looking around for some kind if shelter."  
"Can't we just sleep in a tree?"  
"If you wanna try climbing up one of these just to fall down and die while trying to sleep, be my guest!"  
"Geez, no need to be so snappy..." Frowning at the red head, I started walking and looking around, trying to stay close enough to her so we wouldn't get separated, yet far enough to be able to see further ahead through my glasses in the quickly diminishing light.  
"This is fucking useless, we're gonna die because you wanted coffee!" I guess the famous ginger temperament counts even if you simply dyed your hair a reddish color.  
"Oh shut up, you wanted coffee more than I did! Besides, once we find a place to sleep, like a cave or something, I'll stay closer to the entrance, ok?"  
"Fine, but take out your knife just in case, it's dark and it's creeping me out, just don't kill me."  
Digging into my small leather bag, I pulled out an old switchblade that once upon a time was decorated in horn detail and was shiny, but now was missing half its ornaments. The blade jumped out after I pressed a button, slightly startling me with its speed.  
"I regret not taking any other 'survival' gear of my brothers." I laughed. Of course, I had no way of knowing we would get lost, but it was a nice thought.  
"Mhmm, I totally agree."  
Since the darkness of the night was upon us faster than we expected, we forgot our dreams of a cozy cave and huddled under a half fallen tree branch, leaves and sharp branches covering our backs and hiding our view of the sky. As per agreement, I lied closer to the 'entrance', knife held tightly in my hand. We huddled into our hoodies and said our goodnights. Soon, my friends breathing slowed and evened out, letting me know she was asleep. Slowly I rose from my place next to her, senses alert, and sat down in a more comfortable position to spring out of just in case. I was not about to fall asleep in an unfamiliar place with no protection. This was going to be a long night.

Ever so slowly, dawn approached. Fuck, staying up all night with nothing to do but sit and stay alert fricking sucked, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the night was uneventful, besides Hannah's snoring that is. As light started to spread across the sky, a thought about food came to my mind. We needed to drink, or at least eat something. Deeming it safe enough to leave my companion alone, I covered her up in some more discarded tree branches, just in case, and ventured forth, trying to locate some kind of source of water. I hoped Hannah would be smart enough to stay in one place, it probably wasn't smart to not leave a note.  
"Here, water water water..." The lack of sleep made me slightly wonky, but not so much more than usual. I cleared my dry throat, glancing around, listening for any sound that could be caused by water. Venturing further west, where the forest seemed more luscious and the ground more damp, I heard a trickle of water.  
"Success!" Mentally jumping around I quickly located the source of the wondrous liquid: a stream that could be considered a small river. Despite my throat screaming at me to take a sip, I carefully looked around and in the water, not wanting to poison myself. Not having a way to boil it or clean it through, I gave up the idea, scooped up some water in my palm and after careful inspection gulped it down. Tasting nothing wrong with it I drank some more and turned around to go back to my friend, trying to memorize the way to the stream as best as I could, while also looking around for any form of food.  
"Wait, is that a chicken?!"

"Oi! Wake up, narwhal-face!"  
Low mumbles of curses flowed out of Hannah's mouth as she hid her face into her elbow, away from me.  
"There's a spider on your shoulder."  
That got a reaction. Screaming, she immediately jumped of, brushing off her shoulders in frantic movements, while I laughed in the background.  
"Is it gone?! Is it gone?!" Noticing my red face her panicked expression soured. "There was nothing there, right?"  
"Yup!"  
"I hate you."  
"I know!" I answered her glowering stare, cheerful as ever.  
"You'll be happy to know, that while you rested your tushy in a calm sleep, I protected the camp!"  
"What camp, it's just a bunch of branches." Deadpanned Hannah, still not amused of my antics this early in the morning (though who knows what time it is, my iphone is dead). "What do you mean protected it?"  
"Oh, I didn't sleep and kept watch on the surroundings." I grinned, trying to channel my inner happy puppy, despite feeling like keeling over and dying just to get some sleep.  
"You are crazy, woman."  
"Yeah, but you're still glad I did it."  
"Kinda, yeah."  
"Good. I also thought ahead about water and food. There's a stream up ahead and I found some food, it should be there too if some animal hadn't found it."  
She raised her eyebrow.  
"You left the food unsupervised?"  
"Well sorry, I thought you'd be freaking out over me not being here, you sleepy head!"  
"Why didn't you just bring it here?"  
"Oh, you'll see." Hardly containing my amusement, I rose from my crouch beside her. "Let's move, unicorn! Go go go!" Grabbing her arm and raising her up, I chanted, ignoring her whining.  
"Move it, move it!"  
After some feet shuffling and tripping over a root or three, we barged through the bushes near the stream.  
"Tadaaaam! You can drink it, I don't think it's poisonous. It's a bit cold, so washing up is a bit hard to do without freezing. You can go though, I washed up after I caught lunch, breakfast and dinner for today."  
"Good job, my monkey slave!" Patting my back, Hannah leaned over to the stream for a drink. "What is that food you mentioned?"  
"Here, I killed it myself" I grinned, showing her my prize, hanging off a stick.  
"Holly crap is that a chicken?!"  
"WAS a chicken. I buried all the intestines and feathers and the head and stuff further away, so animals can't smell it and if they do they're not immediately on us. I washed it off too!"  
"You killed a chicken." She seemed in shock, her face pale and mouth open; I was so proud of myself.  
"Yup! Now all we need is a fire and we are in business!"  
"Good luck with that. You said you can't do it yesterday."  
"Oh, I did, I just lied because I'm paranoid! Now go wash up, you stink."

Making. Fires. Is. Hard.  
After about an hour and a half, by which time I was already starting to fear my meal decomposing without a refrigerator, I got a fire going. Hannah tried to help, but failed miserably and let me try myself. Our makeshift fire pit surrounded by rocks was filled with dried up branches and cracking, illuminating my discarded rock and knife, which was most likely chipped beyond salvation. Soon enough, the chicken was sizzling, giving off a delicious smell even without the help of spices.  
"Food, glorious food.." I sang under my breath, not taking my eyes off the food.  
"How long until it's cooked?" Our bellies started rumbling ages ago. Fortunately I was smart enough to divide the chicken into smaller peaces so it would roast on the sticks faster.  
"Soon" I said, looking at her with wide eyes, which thankfully caused her to laugh. The fact that after so much time no one has found us really worried us both, especially now that the fire was lit. Could nobody see it? The park we walked through the day before was not nearly large enough to hide us for so long, and I was pretty sure it didn't have a spring flowing through it. There was a river, but it flowed near the roads full of cars, so we would have heard them by now. Despite this worrying us both, I tried to amp up my carefree persona, to relieve the tension at least somewhat, no need to make Hannah panic.  
The food was finally cooked, and we ate it with an animalistic appetite, teeth gleaming.  
"Phew, that was yum!" I grinned.  
"Yeah, good thing you're crazy enough to kill a chicken. Where the hell did the chicken come from? I don't think there are wild chickens in the local park." I sighed, guess there's no avoiding it.  
"Hannah, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."  
"Kansas, why would we ever be in Kansas?"  
"Stupid, what I meant was we're not where we were before but I have no idea where! Nothing here looks like anything back home!"  
"Shit."  
"Correct."  
"So how do you think we got here?"  
"I dunno, magic? Seems as good an answer as any."  
"Sure, magic, why not."  
"We should put the fire out and keep going, maybe we'll find something before sunset." I sighed, and rose from my place on the soft ground.  
"Yeah, ok."  
As soon as we put the fire out, something happened. A rumbling sound approached from the east, like tons of small feet hitting the ground and something big hitting bushes askew. I grabbed my knife, raising it in front of me.  
"Hannah, hide behind something big!" she quickly stepped behind me. "Thanks.." I tried to glare at her, but something bursting through the bushes shocked me into forgetting about it.  
We gaped at a sledge, pulled by BUNNIES, on which a small, dirty old man wearing a hat and a brown dirty...cloak? stood. His face, though looking like it would normally be very happy and pleasant, was turned into an angry frown as he came off the sledge and closer to us.

This was the oddest situation I had ever been in. The old man, after climbing off his old and over-used looking sledge, immediately started screaming at us for disrupting the peace of the forest in his quivering and stuttering voice.  
"What-what are you d-d-doing here?! The nerve- the blatant disrespect to the forest! A fire! A-and you k-k-killed! A chicken!" The poor, crazy looking old man was shaking, red faced, stomping around our camp site, waving his hands. Hannah and I looked at him, eyebrows raised at not only him, but the bunnies and the birds that appeared out of nowhere, chirping and jumping around as if expressing their dislike of us invading their territory.  
"Oh, the poor chicken..." Shaking his head he looked down, tears flooding his eyes. Seeing them and fully understanding that this man was not all right in the head, Hannah and I panicked, glancing around and at each other.  
"Um...sir?" That got his attention, if only slightly, just to turn his head more into our direction, still sniffing and sorrowfully moaning about the chicken under his breath.  
"My friend and I are very sorry for whatever we did to hurt, insult or inconvenience you or the forest, right Alice?" Throwing the last part of the sentence along with a glare to me, Hannah tried defusing the situation.  
"I regret nothing" Cue a sharp elbow to my side; "But I apologize nonetheless, sir." Our faces betraying nothing but innocence, our words calmed the man considerably.  
"Oh, it-it's alright, I accept your apologies." He shuffled around in place, jittery, and glanced around before turning to us. "Wha-what are you doing here? These parts of the woods are much too far away from any road for a traveler to pass by!" He gestured around, his huffy puffy voice expressing his confusion.  
"We seem to have gotten lost a day ago while walking through a small park, sir...?" I raised my eyebrow, trying to not be very rude.  
"O-oh yes, do excuse my manners, ladies, I am Radagast, the Brown Wizard of Middle Earth." He bowed. For a man who stuttered so much he seemed quite confident.  
Hannah and I glanced at each other wearing identical surprised and disbelieving expressions.  
"It is an honor to meet you, Master Wizard, I am Alice, and this is my friend Hannah." I smiled, trying to bow or curtsey. I don't know why, but calling him Master Wizard seemed appropriate. Hannah on the other hand, just gaped at Radagast and I. I understood that the idea of him being a wizard was completely insane, but I didn't want to provoke Radagast, and I figured as long as we played along he could maybe help us out. Throwing a look that obviously meant 'play along' to Hannah, I turned to Radagast, who seemed pleased at my manners.  
"If you are a wizard, maybe you could help us understand what happened?" Hannah finally realized what I was trying to do, it seemed.  
"What do you mean, dear girl?" He seemed quite surprised that him being a wizard could help us.  
"You see, we got lost on rather unusual circumstance. A day ago, we were walking through a small forest near our homes, when oddly, the forest changed before our eyes. We tried to go back the same way, but no matter how much we walked in the direction of home we could not escape the forest."  
Apparently, that had interested him a lot. After some bumbling under his breath and some rather odd facial expressions (though everything by then seemed so strange it didn't stand out much), he nodded.

"Yes, yes, that does seem unusual... Where did you say you live?"

After telling him our addresses, we seemed to have encountered another problem. He had no idea where our town was or that it even existed. The same went for our country, continent, and pretty much any other location we could think of. Either he was really loony or we were in some deep shit.

"I am sorry, dear girls, but I'm afraid I have never heard of these places before... But maybe... Maybe you could point them out in a map?"

Almost immediately agreeing in a flurry of shouts, nods and gestures, we decided to follow Radagast to his home.

Riding a sledge led by rabbits was a lot more different than I thought it would be. I figured, anything involved with bunnies would be fun, but boy was I wrong.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The echo of the combined screams of Hannah and I flowed through the forest. One thing the rabbits didn't lack was speed, and given Radagast's slightly mad persona, it was safe to say he was not the most reliable driver.

After what seemed like ages but must have been merely minutes we stopped and got off the sledge with shaky legs. Looking over it I could hardly believe the three of us could fit on the small contraption, let alone be able to fly at such speeds. By the look on Hannah's face, she was thinking the same. Ignorant of our trembling knees Radagast cheerily stepped closer towards his house. Our gaze following him, my friend and I stopped to stare yet again. I gaped for almost a minute, vaguely hearing the red head next to me gasp and mutter something under her breath.

Radagast's house seemed more like a shack at first glance. The wood was old and falling apart, dark and worn from years of standing. But we were gaping at another aspect of the house. From inside of the house, a great tree was growing, breaking the roof and forcing through the walls. It was quite a unique sight.

Eventually, Hannah and I walked in through the crooked doorway. The inside of the shack looked eerily similar to the outside, besides the roots of the great tree peeking through the furniture. Radagast was running around, opening cupboards and drawers, shuffling pieces of parchment and mumbling under his breath.

"Ah! Here we are..."

He quickly faced the table in the middle of the room and carelessly swiped his hand across it to remove any unneeded objects which clattered onto the floor. Seeing the big map already lay onto the surface, our gaping mouths snapped shut. Glancing at each other briefly we hurried to stand next to the supposed wizard.

"Now, where did you say your village was? Rohan, perhaps?"

Once again, my friend and I were left completely baffled.

"B-but... What is this?"

"Well it's a map of Middle Earth, of course!"

Hannah continued to stutter expressions of confusion, while I took the time to analyze the map as much as I could. Maybe the old man was trying to fool us? But the map looked far too old and detailed to be merely a tool to trick us with.

"I'm sorry, Master Wizard, but we don't recognize any of the lands on this map. In fact, even the shore line for the sea is unfamiliar, and we have been taught to recognize any land in the world just by their country lines." I shook my head, my voice low and vibrating with worry and confusion.

"Hmm... that is very concerning..." After some squabble, I agreed to draw rough sketches of maps of the world, our country and mark where we were when we got lost. Radagast would then try to compare them to his own various old maps. So, now armed with pieces of parchment and charcoal I dragged the still shockingly silent Hannah outside and sat on the lush grass.

"Where are we?" A hushed question reached my ears, startling me out of focus. I looked up to Hannah, sighed, set my half finished drawing aside and tugged Hannah down to sit beside me. She flopped down like a bag of potatoes.

"I don't know. But we'll be fine. We're always fine." I smiled, trying to encourage her. Unfortunately, she still looked out of it, but threads of anger started to seep through her facade.

"How? And how do we get back home?"

"Well, I figured that our earlier guess was right when I saw the sledge with the rabbits. Magic. If everything Radagast says is true, it's not too far fetched to think we somehow magically traveled from our world to this one. Like in Alice in Wonderland. Or, if you prefer, we could've fallen through a rift in dimensions like in Doctor Who." An amusing thought, but a possible explanation nonetheless. Apparently, it was good enough for Hannah.

"So... now what? How do we get back?"

"Simple really. We either try to live here forever, or we go on some epic adventure, defeat a dragon or something, and find a magical way back home. Usually, once an adventure ends, the hero, or heroes, go back home. But this is just my fairytale logic." At this, she perked up considerably.

"Think that would work?"

"It should, but if it doesn't: hey, we get to see a dragon or go on an epic adventure! It would be dangerous as hell, but we could learn a lot, you know, character building!" I happily swung my arms around, leaning back into the grass.

"So that's our plan? Find an epic adventure to go on and hope we'll return home that when it's over?" She looked a bit skeptical, but determined enough to go through with it if needed.

"Yup! Unless Radagast knows another way. This reminds me, I need to finish these drawings for him." Grabbing my tools I resumed my task, sketching the World.


	4. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Fortunately or unfortunately Radagast did not know how to send us back home or find any maps describing lands familiar to us. He did know of another wizard that could possibly help us though, Gandalf the Grey. So, after spending the night at his shack, pouring over maps and trying to learn everything there was to learn about Middle Earth in one day, Hannah and I set of to see the Grey Wizard. To make sure we didn't die on the way, Radagast was kind enough to supply each of us with a bed roll and pack stuffed with food, water and other necessities. He also supplied us with cloaks and daggers to protect ourselves, and let us borrow one of his maps and a compass. All in all, we were greatly indebted to him and promised to somehow return the favor in the future.

Besides all these great things, Radagast gave us two ponies.

"Left, go left! No, the other way! Wou-aah!" And that was the third time I had fallen off my pony. I named her Squiggles, because of the odd black markings on her otherwise white coat. Hannah sniggered, riding forward. She finally managed to control her hazelnut brown beast, Rumble, a few minutes ago, falling only twice.

"I win!"

Grumbling I got up and climbed onto Squiggles. This time I was determined to not fall.

We traveled for a few days, maybe more. Our butts really hurt for the first two, got used to it later on, and food rations were getting low, even if we stopped to gather fruits and such once in a while. Radagast had sent some bird with a message to Gandalf, and had arranged us to meet with him in an inn in some town Bree. I was not sure of the details, but knew Hannah knew where to go. According to our map, we should reach Bree before nightfall.

The gate to Bree was not what we expected. Bree was not a town, but a village, so the gate was wooden and even though it seemed sturdy enough to withhold a small amount of people, it would not last against a larger attack. Riding up to the gate we dismounted our ponies, holding their reigns in one hand. Fortunately, since there was still some time before sunset, the gate was open, but we were afraid we'd trample someone with our little beasts in the small streets.

"What was the inn called?"

"The Prancing Pony."

"Heh, ironic."

Smirking I followed Hannah's lead through the streets. After some wondering about, we found the Prancing Pony.

"Seems kinda...shady, no?"

"Maybe a bit... We have no choice but to go in though." Sighing, we sloppily tied our ponies to the mast or whatever that thing is called and walked into the inn.

Even though the sun was still up, the party in the Prancing Pony was in full swing. Quickly glancing over the crowd just to be sure I stepped closer to the counter, Hannah standing near me.

"Hello, young ladies, what can I do for ya?" A kindly older man, the innkeeper no doubt, asked us.

"We're looking for Gandalf the Gray, do you know if he's here?" I took charge, not bothering to argue with my friend.

"Gandalf the Gray, huh? Old man's in the corner over there." He nudged his head towards his left.

"Anything else?"

Sharing a glance with Hannah I turned to the innkeeper again and smiled.

"Nothing for now, thank you."

"You know where to find me if you need anything, young ladies!" Smiling he turned around and walked away, closer to the bar.

"Do you see him?" I turned to the red head at my side.

"I think so... That old dude in grey sitting with that kinda short guy with awesome dark hair."

"Yeah, no one else here looks like a "Grey Wizard"... Wonder who the other guy is, we were only supposed to meet with Gandalf, right?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe he's a dwarf. Looks like a dwarf."

"Who knows, maybe he's just short? Oh, who cares, let's just go and ask the older one if he's Gandalf."

We started walking closer to their table. Half way there, the shorter one stood up, shook the old mans hand, said something inaudible to us and walked away towards the door leading out of the inn. When he passed me, his shoulder slightly brushed mine and our eyes connected for half a second. It was such a movie moment; it seemed like it happened in slow motion. Turning my head back straight I kept my expression calm. His eyes looked unnaturally blue and troubled.

We finally walked up to Gandalf. He lifted his eyebrow in a silent question to our presence.

"Good Evening. Are you Gandalf the Grey?" Way to be blunt, Hannah.

"Yes, I am. And who might you, young ladies, be?"

"I am Alice, this is my friend Hannah. We're the ones Radagast wrote to you about."

"Ah, yes." He nodded in understanding. "Please, sit, I suppose we have a lot to speak about. Radagast was very detailed in his letter."

Hannah sat on the chair left by the other man, while I stole one from a next door table and slid over to sit next to her.

"I must say, your situation is most curious. I have never heard anything like it." We frowned immediately.

"Can you help us?"

"I'm afraid I know of no spell or ritual that could help you get back where you came from." That damn near shattered us. In the corner of my eye I saw Hannah look down, eyes full of sorrow.

"However, I believe your theory about an adventure could quite possibly work." He laced his fingers together, touching his chin lightly. "Travels like that don't just happen, or else there would be many more people in similar situations. I believe you are right in saying you were brought here for a purpose."

"Told you." My small remark towards Hannah made him smile and his eyes twinkle in an odd dumbledory way. Hannah just glared at me in a look that screamed 'shut up'.

"What do you think we should do then?" She picked up the conversation.

"Are you certain that you are looking for an adventure?" Another quirk of the eyebrow.

"Yes. We realize that it would be highly dangerous, but we know that the reward is greater than the risks."

"Very well. I assume you saw the dwarf that was earlier with me?" We nodded. "His name is Thorin Oakenshield and he has asked for my help in an adventure. He is leading an expedition to reclaim the Lonely Mountain, Erebor, from the dragon Smaug. The journey will be long and hard, riddled with many dangers. He has a team of thirteen dwarves, and has given me the right to pick the fourteenth member of the group: The Burglar. Unfortunately, I already have a person in mind for this occupation. I would like to invite you both to this quest, but adding you into the company would be hard, considering we have to convince Thorin to let you come with." He sighed, closing his eyes for a few seconds. "Do you have any skills to contribute to the company?"

"I can shoot a bow, but I don't have a bow." I grinned cheekily.

"I can't fight very well, but I can cook." Hannah crossed her arms, a bit put down.

"If it helps, we're pretty smart, have been taught various subjects of science for over twelve years. It was mandatory where we came from."

"Hmmm... This might work." He straightened up, preparing to leave. "Do you have a map?"

I quickly pulled out my slightly crumpled map.

"Meet me here, tomorrow evening after sunset. The door will be marked with a symbol, like this;" He traced his finger in the air, leaving a light trail, showing us the symbol. "Since you do not have any coin, I am leaving this to you; you'll return the sum later." Seeing us about to protest, he quickly added. "You will need food, water, armor and weapons if you wish to survive on this journey." He glanced at our feet, covered in old sneakers. "And maybe some boots." I would have laughed if we weren't preoccupied. "Take a room for the night. There are many merchants around the village; you can do your shopping tomorrow. I shall see you then." He bowed his head to us, we returned the gesture, and walked away, leaving his heavy money bag on the table.

"What the hell just happened?" Hannah gripped her hair.

"I guess we're going on an adventure!" I grinned, lifting up the money bag. "Come on, let's talk to the innkeeper."

The cost for the room was surprisingly low, though we didn't really know the usual costs for inns so I suppose it might have been expensive. The room was small, yet comfortable, with two wooden twin beds for both of us. As soon as the sun set we passed out in the fluffy cocoons. When morning came, Hannah woke me up and we went out shopping. Since we bought the necessities like food and clothes first, a nice bow with a full quiver and two short swords being a close second, we didn't have much money left for fancy armor. In the end we picked the cheapest and sturdiest leather armor we could find. We also took Gandalf's advice and got some actual boots. After we somehow hauled everything back to the inn, cleaned up and fed our ponies using the last of our money, we saddled up and started riding towards this Shire place.

We rode for the remaining day, stopping a couple of times near streams and rivers to let the ponies rest. By the time we reached the place Gandalf had marked on the map, it was dark.

"What creatures do you think live here? Dwarves? These... holes seem too small for humans to live in." Hannah wondered out loud, while tying Rumble to a specified place by the gates to the Shire. A couple of other ponies were already there, so I just tied Squibbles next to one of them.

"Probably hobbits. Radagast said they were small."

"Are you sure? This Thorin dude was a dwarf; I doubt he'd want another non dwarf in his company. I don't think he'll like us coming along, he seemed very..."

"Rough around the edges?"

"Yeah."

"Well he'll just have to deal with it. C'mon, we should find the place before it gets so dark that we can't see each other."

"Okey dokey!" Making a face, she followed my lead through the gates. We wandered for a little while, reaching a small pond.

"Hey, look, there's someone there!" Hannah whispered loudly, pointing to the other side of the pond, where further on a hill some kind of group was gathering.

"You think that's them?" I raised an eyebrow. I imagined fierce warriors, but from what I could see they didn't look much like I thought they would.

"Probably... Oh, there's Gandalf! They're going to that house-hill-thing!"

"Must be the place we were supposed to go. C'mon, let's go around the stinking pond." Grumbling for wasting so much time, I stomped around the water, the red head following my footsteps with more graceful, lighter steps.

Once we reached the round door to the house, we heard the ruckus inside.

"Good. Now, Hannah, remember, we need to be polite so not to offend anyone, yet laid back enough so we fit in easily. Now, knock on the door." She glared at me.

"You knock on the door!" I rolled my eyes.

"How about you knock and I speak?"

"Fine." She raised her tiny fist and gently struck her knuckles on the wood thrice.

"Are you kidding me, no one would hear that!"

"You do it then!" She stuck her tongue out at me. I raised my fist and knocked as hard as I could.

"There, someone must have heard that."

"Pffft, bullshit, not only did you hurt your hand, idiot, but my knock was clearly more audible!"

"No way! I didn't-"

Our argument was interrupted when the large door swung open, revealing a dwarf. The fellow seemed a bit shy. We momentarily paused, looking down at him, and I quickly lowered my eyebrows from their surprised expression, turning to the dwarf.

"Good Evening, are we late? We were supposed to come with Gandalf. I am Alice and this is my friend Hannah." At the mention of her name, she waved and smiled. The dwarf must have deemed us safe enough to let in and smiled.

"Ori, at your service, misses!" He bowed, making Hannah and I share another surprised glance. "Please, come in! I'll inform the others to make more room at the table!" With another smile, he turned around, walking into what seemed like the kitchen, where a few others were running around, carrying food, leaving the door open behind him. Sharing another look, my buddy and I shrugged, stepping inside, closing the door behind us.

The inside of the hill looked very nice, a lot different than you'd think, considering the house was built into a hill. I kind of expected it to look like Radagast's home, but I guess hobbits were a bit more... sanitary. Another thing we immediately noticed was the crowd of dwarves, carrying around food, drinks and chairs, casting curious glances at us from time to time. Not wanting to seem like complete idiots for standing in one place, I grabbed 's wrist and dragged her towards the only non hairy dwarf- hobbit? - I could see. The poor guy was wrestling a chair out of one of the dwarves hands, saying it was not for sitting on. It's a chair, why would it not be for sitting on?

"Excuse me!" I tapped his shoulder, making him jump and turn around, leaving the dwarf with the chair. "Sorry, do you know where Gandalf is?" I smiled at him. He looked a bit shocked and relieved we weren't dwarves.

"There he is!" Hannah tugged my hand while stepping into the room on the right.

"Sorry again!" I smiled at the hobbit again, walking after her. There stood Gandalf, already conversing with Hannah. "Gandalf, nice to see you!" He smiled his grandpa smile.

"It is good to see you also, Alice. I hope your journey here went well and you bought enough supplies for the future!"

"Yup, we even bought boots!" We laughed, the sound attracting a couple more of the curious glances our way.

"Introduce yourselves to everyone, girls. Now, please excuse me." He smiled again and turned to leave the room, stopping only once to refuse some tea in favor of some red wine from an old dwarf.

"We should probably help out." I whispered to Hannah, looking around at the bustling crew.

"How? What do we do?" Looking at me with wide eyes she asked for guidance. Glancing around one more time, I noticed the first dwarf we met, Ori, polishing and placing plates around the table.

"Hi Ori, is there anything we could do to help?" Seems like I startled the poor dwarf again. I grinned; he was adorable, like a puppy.

"O-oh, of course, you can help bringing the food in, just ask the others by the pantry." He stuttered, motioning with his head towards the opposing doorway.

"Alright, thanks!" Hannah smiled and we walked the short distance to the already half empty pantry. On the way we had to dodge two young dwarves carrying a barrel of wine or ale. Glancing at their faces, Hannah blushed immediately while I grinned. We walked passed, but noticed them staring after us in our peripheral vision.

"C'mon, get a move on!"

"Stop pushing."

"Don't take that cheese, it's moldy!"

Chatter was all around us, once we reached the pantry, we said hello and introduced ourselves to Oin and Gloin, who even though looked a bit intimidating, were very nice and directed us on what to bring where.

Soon enough we were all seated around the big table, most of us stuffing our faces (I neither deny nor admit my part in this). What can I say; the dwarves knew how to party! Even Hannah was enjoying herself! We were sitting right in between Gandalf and Dwalin, another quite nice yet intimidating looking dwarf. This seat offered us perfect view of the entertainment: The big dwarfs - Bombur's, according to Gandalf - amazing food catching skills. Somehow he just swallowed an entire boiled egg without even having much warning before the throw. We clapped and yelled along with the others, it was really fun.

"So what are your names, lassies?" An older dwarf from the corner of the table asked us, smiling gently.

"I am Agne and this is Dominyka." Agne gestured at me with her hand and I waved, mouth over stuffed with ham.

"I am Balin." He smiled again and nodded his head. Apparently this initiated a role call.

"Oin and Gloin, as you already know."

Bombur swallowed his huge bite before nodding to us.

"Bombur"

Ori smiled at us and even though we already knew his name, he still squeaked it in a small adorable voice.

The two younger ones on the other side of the table glanced at each other, smirked and stood up, laying a fist over their chests

"Fili" The more ginger one.

"Kili" The obviously hot one that made Hannah blush with everything he did, also the only one without an actual beard.

"At your service" They bowed at the same time, rousing laughter all around.

"Now now boys, don't make the misses all flustered!" This just caused us to blush more."I am Nori, pleased to meet you." Nodding and smiling at him, we turned our gazes towards the next one in line.

"Dori" Smiled and nodded the one who offered Gandalf tea.

"I am Bofur, and this is Bifur" The one with the weird pigtails at the end of the table smiled and motioned his head towards the one with the... axe stuck out of his head? Figuring staring at it would make the dwarf uncomfortable; I smiled and nodded at them, hoping that Hannah would get it too. Fortunately, either she did, or she just didn't notice the axe.

"And the hobbit whose lovely house we are in is..?" Hannah raised an eyebrow.

"That would be Mister Bilbo Baggins, a bit of a worrier, but we'll set him straight!" Kili laughed, his deep voice vibrating through our ears like a sweep melody. I thought Hannah's head was going to explode from how red she went.

During this time, Fili somehow got out from behind his brother and was now climbing up on the table, hands full off tankards, somehow dodging all the food still being thrown around.

"Who wants some ale?" He asked over the chattering, yells and laughter. I immediately grinned and raised my hand. "There you go!" He smiled at me. Hannah, being the usual sober one, refused the drink, but took an offered tiny glass of wine from Dori.

The party was pretty insane. I almost split my spleen and showed half my food on Hannah's lap when I saw Dwalin pouring ale down Oin's hearing trumpet, who later on just blew bubbles out of it. Hannah, in stitches from laughter herself, almost pushed me off of my seat in revenge, but on the last second I was caught my Dwalin's hand, still shaking from laughter. Still laughing, we all took our tankards (well, MOST of us), smashed them at each others in the middle of the table, and quickly started chugging them down. Since all the loud ones were preoccupied with drinking, an odd silence was cast over the company, interrupted only by the sound of gulps and trickling ale.

A loud belch pierced the silence, making everyone laugh, impressed by Nori's skill. The second to surpass Nori was Ori, with a long and loud burp that made me almost fall out of my seat.

After a small burping contest, in which I am proud to say I held my own against the men, the party got into full swing. Since I was a light weight, it was completely understandable that my head was swimming halfway into my second tankard. Good thing that Hannah was here, she was sensible enough not to get drunk before trying to negotiate our way home.

I must say, during this party I really felt like I had fit in with the dwarves. While Hannah spent time being nice and not completely drunk with Gandalf and the other more calm dwarves, I ran stumbling around each of the groups of dwarves that had separated from the table after the food was gone, just to get to know each one. I was sitting by the window with some others, when I saw Bilbo run after Nori and pull something out of his hands.

"Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth!" He said in an angry yet polite tone, trying to untangle the doily, not even seeing Nori walk away without a care in the world. Bofur, who was standing next to him, remarked:

"But it's full of holes."

"It's supposed to look like that; it's crochet." Bilbo answered proudly, like we were actually supposed to know or care what that was. Apparently, Bofur didn't know either, and just substituted it with cricket.

"Oh, and what a wonderful game it is too, if you got the balls for it." He smirked, sending me and a couple of others into another laughing fit. I haven't laughed this much in ages. In the corner of my eye I saw Hannah also laughing, discussing something with Balin, helping herself to another itty bitty glass of wine.

Hearing Gandalf's voice, I saw him trying to calm down Bilbo, telling him to "get used to them". I assumed he meant the dwarves, Hannah and I. My drunk brain feeling slightly insulted by the thought of him not liking our merry company, I wobbly stood up and went after him, tankard still in hand. By the time I got near them, Ori was there, talking in his sweet little voice. God, that guy was like an adorable little kid.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" He said, glancing from the plate in his hands to Bilbo's still irritated expression.

"Here you go Ori, give it to me." Fili came out of nowhere, grabbed Ori's plate and tossed it over to Kili, barely missing Gandalf, who jumped out of the way, stumbling. Forgetting my earlier objective completely, I ran to get Hannah, keeping one eye on the plates everyone started tossing around. The first plate, Ori's, quickly left Kili's hands once it landed, and flew through the doorway into Bifur's awaiting hands near the sink.

Once I got Hannah ("C'mon, hurry up!" "What, what?!"), we stood back and watched the amazing plate throwing show. Bilbo immediately started protesting, yelling something about the plates being over a hundred years old. I then noticed Bofur, Nori, Dori and some others hitting the table with their forks and knives, smashing them at each others, creating an odd melody with their stomping feet. Bilbo kept yelling about blunting the knives, which Bofur caught.

"Ooooh, hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!" All that was needed to make that sentence completely suspicious was a wink.

Suddenly, Kili started to sing, much to our amusement.

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks!" Fili joined in.

"Smash the bottles and burn the corks!" Soon almost all the dwarves slowly joined in, still drumming the odd beat with the utensils and feet.

"Chip the glasses and crack the plates!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

I don't know how they orchestred this on such short notice but this was amazing. By this time someone started to clang pots and pans, and I swear I even heard a violin.

"Cut the cloth and trail the fat!

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!

Pour the milk on the pantry floor!

Splash the wine on every door!"

By this time plates were flying everywhere, I have no idea how none of them cracked! Seeing Ori already with a high stack of clean dishes, I tugged Hannah to hide in one of the doorways so we didn't get to try and catch a plate, because I was pretty sure we both lacked the necessary dexterity.

"Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl!

Pound them up with a thumping pole!

And when you're finished, if they are whole,

Send them down the hall to roll!"

Every dwarf was throwing around plates (except for Bombur, he helped clear the remaining food by stuffing it in his mouth), while the humans and wizard watched, amazed and amused. Bilbo, on the other hand, was still going crazy. Bofur even got a flute out and accompanied the stomping feet melody with it.

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" That last shout, followed by laughter, Hannah and I participated in. The funniest was the look on Bilbo's face, when he barged into the room, expecting to see piles of broken dishes, instead seeing them clean and without a scratch, and neatly stacked one on top of other on the table. Everyone laughed and assured Bilbo that everything was fine. Poor hobbit looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

The laughter quickly died down once a heavy knock on the front door sounded through the halls. Thankfully, by that time I had sobered up enough to walk straight, even though my tongue was still a bit loose. It was silent for a couple of seconds, until Gandalf quietly said:

"He's here." Many movie references immediately jumped into my mind and I quickly put a hand over my mouth to stifle the giggles. Hannah noticed this quickly and elbowed me in the side, which not only made me stop giggling, but also made me rub my side, mouthing 'Ouch'.

Everyone quickly gathered in the doorway on the right of the front door, letting Gandalf go first to open the door. Since Hannah and I were pretty much taller than everyone except for Dwalin and Gandalf, we stood in the back and looked over everyone's heads.

Gandalf slowly opened the door. On the other side of it stood the dwarf from the inn. Thorin Oakenshield. Let's hope my loose tongue won't get us killed. Surprisingly, when Thorin stepped forward his face looked calm and almost happy, like he was glad to see all his friends in one place.

"Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice." Not his fault you can't navigate, bro. I'm so happy I didn't say that out loud. "I wouldn't have found it at all if it weren't for that mark on the door." He said while taking off his cloak. That got Bilbo's attention.

"What? There's no mark on that door, it was painted a week ago!" He walked around Gandalf, who closed the door in question.

"Yes, there is a mark, I put it there myself." Gandalf looked very cheeky, like he was proud of his mark on the door. "Bilbo Baggins, Alice, Hannah, allow me to introduce the leader of our company: Thorin Oakenshield." Hearing our names we burst to the front of the group, me holding a steadying hand on Hannah's shoulder at which she grimaced. Thorin looked over us all.

"So." He focused his gaze on Bilbo. "This is the hobbit." He stepped closer to the guy, arms crossed over his chest, an amused gaze fleeting over the small being in front of him. Then, he started walking around him.

"Tell me, Mister Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?" Thorin kept circling around Bilbo like a shark.

"Axe or sword? What's your weapon of choice?" His tone began to take on a sliver of mocking in it. However, Bilbo had guts. He steeled himself and answered.

"Well, I do have some skill at cankers." He smirked, trying to seem nonchalant, but his shuffling feet gave him away. "If you must know." Thorin stopped in front of him again, in the same stance as before. "I fail to see why that's relevant." And here's the nervous Bilbo we all know!

"Thought as much." Not snobbish at all, dude. A small huff from Hannah confirmed she was thinking the same thing. "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." Small round of laughter, in which we finally did not participate. Then, Thorin turned to us. Uh-oh. I immediately felt myself pale a bit.

"And you two?"

"I can shoot a bow and know the basics of sword fighting." I tried to look calm on the outside.

"And miss Hannah is my apprentice." Interrupted Gandalf, making quite a few eyebrows raise, mine and Hannah's included. "I shall need their assistance with several spells while on the journey."

"We can cook!" Hannah finally said something.

"And take care of most wounds too." It's a good thing I think over zombie apocalypse survival techniques and necessities when I'm bored.

"Hmm."

As if that was the final word, everyone started walking towards the room with the table. While walking, I noticed Hannah sharing a glance with Gandalf, a silent agreement to discuss this later.

Surprisingly, there was still some food left for Thorin. I could practically hear Bilbo's heart breaking over the last of his food.

"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?" Balin, bless your grandfatherly heart.

"Aye. Envoys from all seven kingdoms." That and Thorin's proud tone caused a round of Aah!'s and joyful murmurs.

"What do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?" Dwalin's sudden question interrupted the short laughs and caused an awaiting silence to settle.

Thorin sighed.

"They will not come." That sentence was followed with disappointed sighs and whispers, with an underlying understanding."They say this quest is ours and ours alone." The disappointment continues.

"You-you're going on a quest?" Are you fucking kidding me? Bilbo JUST learns of this. Fuck it. The alcohol in my system giving me a bravery boost, I groaned, face palmed, and rest my head on the table. Hannah followed my example and face palmed herself, shaking her head.

"Seriously, Bilbo? What, did you think we all gathered here to go berry picking or something?!"

Even though Thorin gave me a sort of surprised, amused, yet slightly disapproving eye, he looked like he was about to agree with me. He probably also thought 'fuck it', gulped down some ale, glanced at Gandalf to save the situation, and resumed eating.

"Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light." That's your way of saving the situation, Gandalf? Really? Hannah sighed, most likely thinking the same. Bilbo 'hummed and went to fetch a candle.

"He is hopeless." She whispered to me.

"Shhh." I shut her up, no need for anyone else to hear us.

Gandalf took something out of his pocket and stood up, making us and Dwalin move a bit so we could see what was shown.

"Far to the east, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak." He folded out a small old map, which showed The Lonely Mountain and roads around it, a dragon flying around the peak of it. This interested Thorin and the other dwarves greatly, even though they obviously knew everything about it. Bilbo looked over Thorin's and Gandalf's shoulders, candle dangerously close to the dwarf leaders raven locks.

"The Lonely Mountain?"

Gloin nodded, dismissing the hobbits lack of knowledge.

"Aye. Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time." Half the dwarves seemed to agree with Gloin, nodding, while some others looked skeptical. Gandalf probably decided to show off his magic, because even though there were many candles around, he still lit his pipe with his fingers. Surprisingly, the blend smelt sweet, not like tobacco at all, and Hannah gazed at his fingers and the pipe with wide eyes, no doubt thinking about being his apprentice, and how it was so awesome.

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold:" Oin seemed a bit insistent, no doubt the company has argued about this before." When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end."

Bilbo, obviously hearing the word "beast", turned to the table and asked.

"Uh, What beast?" Bofur, finding the perfect opportunity to have some fun with the hobbit, answered.

"Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age." Small pause to build suspense, Bofur is very good at story telling, Hannah seemed totally into it. "Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely fond of precious metals-"

"Yes, I know what a dragon is." In a quick sentence, wringing his fingers and nodding interrupted the small hobbit. Suddenly, Ori slid his chair back and stood up, full of spirit.

"I'm not afraid! I'm up for it. I'll give him a taste of the Dwarfish iron right up his jacksie!" That earned a few shouts, some agreeing, some not, including Dori telling him to sit down. I kept an eye on Hannah, really hoping she was prepared mentally for what's to come, I really didn't want to think about a scenario of her crying in the middle of a battle field while I jump around to protect us both, or the other way around, actually.

The news of the lacking army seemed to have hit the dwarves hard.

"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us. But we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best, nor the brightest." Balin just earned a minus for that. Among the shouts of 'who're you calling dim?' and other disagreeable sounds, Hannah and I huffed. It's like they completely forgot about us! Fili took it upon himself to raise our spirits.

"We may be few in number, but we're fighters, all of us, to the last dwarf!" Thanks, Fili. Nice to know we mean so much to you.

"And you forget we have a wizard and his apprentice in our company. Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time!" Hannah, I'm happy for you that your crush realized you are alive, but stop looking so smug before I punch you. Seriously people, what am I, chopped liver?! And besides, Hannah has never even seen a dragon, let alone killed one! And from Gandalf's stuttering, I'm guessing he hasn't either.

"Oh, now, uh, I-I-I wouldn't say that, I-"

"How many then?" Oh, Dori, you totally caught on to that, didn't you? Kili, what have you done? Pretty much every dwarf in the room looked at Gandalf with expectations.

"Uh, what?" Smooth.

"Well, how many dragons have you killed?" At this the wizard coughs on his pipe smoke, probably only so he didn't have to answer.

"Go on, give us a number!" Dori stood up, irritated by the silence, which caused a domino effect of dwarves standing up and arguing about how many obviously non-existent dragons Gandalf has killed. We two buddies just sat closer together and tried to dodge as many elbows as we could, flying from our seat mates beside us. Bilbo quietly tried to separate them all, but it took Thorin jumping up from his seat and practically roaring like he was fricking Aslan for everyone to quiet down.

"If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, and weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected." Wait, vast wealth? Why was I not informed of this? Noticing my sudden jerk of the head, Hannah nudged me and shook her head. Aww, no treasure for me. "Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?" He then shouted something twice in a language I can only assume to be dwarfish. Didn't really matter, because we could hardly hear them over the sound of shouts and battle ready yells coming from the other dwarves. Thorin is a royal, right? He obviously inherited the public speaking gene. Nevertheless, Hannah and I were happy to see the guys so fired up, we were smiling at them and even clapped.

"You forget: the front gate is sealed. There is no way into the Mountain." Our smiles immediately dropped and the cheering stopped. Jesus, Balin, do you need to be such a buzz kill?

"That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." You sneaky wizard, what have you been hiding? I straightened up in my seat and made sure Hannah was paying attention. Gandalf suddenly pulled out a key out of thin air (or his pocket, I couldn't see very well in the candle light). It was big and intricate, and by the look on Thorin's face, important.

"How came you by this?" So important, he even forgot grammar.

"It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now." He handed the key to Thorin, the glinting of the metal in the candle light and small 'cink' sound when it touched Thorin's rings somehow making the exchange very dramatic.

Everyone's gaze, even Bilbo's, was fixated on the key.

"If there is a key... there must be a door." You are a genius, Fili, I never would have thought of that. Hannah rolled her eyes, shoulders moving slightly in a silent chuckle.

Gandalf pointed to the runes on his small map with his pipe, not worrying about the possibility of staining the parchment.

"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls."

"There's another way in!"An excited shout from another genius. Since Kili is Fili's brother, genius must run in the family. Somehow this time Hannah didn't join me in the groaning, she just rolled her eyes a bit. Interesting...

"Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed." He sighed, looking down at the map. "The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle-Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage." Cue glance in Bilbo's direction. He doesn't think? I looked at Hannah and it seemed she had come to the same conclusion. "But, if we are careful and clever, I believe it can be done."

"That's why we need a burglar!" Oh, Ori, you cutie, you have no idea you just pushed Bilbo under the bus, do you? And to make it worse, Bilbo doesn't realize they're talking about him. Cue another face palm. I need to clean my glasses; I always forget I have them on.

"Hm, a good one, too. An expert, I'd imagine." Hannah snickered. You just keep digging your own grave, don't you, Bilbo? Finally, Gloin revealed him the truth.

"And are you?"

"Am I what?" Seems it's finally dawning on him, since he saw no one behind himself, that everyone was looking at him.

"He said he's an expert!" Oin must've completely opened his eyes now. A couple of dwarves snickered and chuckled.

"M-me? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not a burglar; I've never stolen a thing in my life!" So defensive, he seemed really nervous.

"I have." Oops. Blame it on the ale. Hannah turned to me, eyebrows raised and mouth agape, but not really that shocked.

"What? You stole something?!"

"...Noooooo..." Avoid eye contact, avoid eye contact!

Thorin raised a brow at our conversation, but most likely figured it was of no concern to him, and dismissed it.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Mister Baggins. He's hardly burglar material." Seems like Balin is resuming his position as Officer Buzz Kill. I guess it's good there is someone to keep everyone's ideas in the realistic side of the field, though. Also, Bilbo seems to agree with him, if his nod is anything to go by.

"Aye, the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves, like hobbits and women." Bilbo, being the stupid one at the moment, nodded again, but Hannah and I were greatly offended. Hannah less so, I guess, since she really didn't know how to fight, so she just said 'hey!' and glared, while I jumped up and started shouting 'I'll show you gentlefolk!' over all the other bickering shouts. At this point, Gandalf intervened. His shout made even more of an impact since he amplified it and the shadows surrounding him with his magic, creating a foreboding atmosphere.

"Enough! If I say that Bilbo Baggins is a burglar and the girls can help you in your quest then that is what they are and what they will do!"

Almost as suddenly as he appeared, Scary Gandalf returned to normal and said in a calm, gentle voice, as if nothing had happened.

"Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of a hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest, and he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself. As for the ladies, they are far brighter than you might think, and will help you all greatly. You must trust me on this." The speech was long and had many pauses, but also seemed to convince Thorin. Despite Bilbo's protests, he said:

"Very well. We will do it your way. Give them each a contract." Bofur cheered and Balin pulled out a stack of parchment from his satchel.

"It's just the usual summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." I took two out of his hands and gave one to Hannah, and we immediately started reading it, though it was hard to not get distracted by the pretty penmanship. I kept one ear open though, just to make sure we weren't left out of an important conversation.

"Funeral arrangements?" Bilbo didn't seem to quite grasp what he was in for. Again. He stepped out of the room to read the contract under better lighting. While he was moaning, I heard Thorin whispering to the wizard.

"I cannot guarantee their safety."

"Understood."

"Nor will I be responsible for their fate."

"Agreed." I hope Hannah hadn't heard that, don't want her to chicken out. Honestly, I was beginning to get a bit worried as well, a sort of sick feeling in my stomach. Or, that could be the oncoming hangover, who knows?

Bilbo starts reading a part of the contract out loud, but since Hannah and I were almost at the bottom of it, we didn't really care.

"Incineration?" Oooh, that sounds interesting. Both of us lifted our heads.

"Oh, aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye." Way to reassure the squeamish ones there, Bofur. I totally owe you one.

Bilbo and Hannah both paled, swaying in their places a bit, Bilbo going 'huh'.

"You guys alright?" I asked, concerned for them a bit. Turning to Hannah I whispered into her ear: "Calm down, chances are we'll be home before we even see the dragon. That place will take some time to reach." That seemed to calm her down a bit. Bilbo, on the other hand, bends over, resting his hands on his knees and started breathing like he was doing yoga.

"Uh... yeah, feel a bit faint." Bofur, being such a nice guy, decided to clarify while standing up, coming closer to Bilbo.

"Think furnace with wings."

"Air, I-I-I need air." Poor guy was getting worse by the second. Quick glance to my right relieved me; Hannah was still pale, but nowhere as bad as Bilbo.

"Flash of light, searing pain, then Poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash!" Bofur grinned, smug bastard was enjoying this. We all stared at Bilbo, for a couple of seconds it seemed he was going to be all right, but then he straightened up, breathed in, composed himself, looked at us, said "Nope!" and promptly fell on the floor, Gandalf raising up to check on him.

Turning back to my friend, I put a hand on her shoulder, silently asking her if she still wanted to do this. Receiving a nod, I turned to Balin.

"Can we have something to write with, please?"


	5. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

After we scribbled our names onto the parchment, the company of dwarves seemed a lot more open to us than before. Earning a couple of claps over our shoulders, we stood up, and with a little bit of help from the gentlemen carried Bilbo onto a comfy looking chair in the other room. After a bit of water splashed onto his face, Bilbo woke up, assuring us that all was alright with him. Hannah and I, realizing that sticking around was not wise, nodded to Gandalf and quickly left the premises, joining some of the other dwarves in the next room by the crackling fireplace. Sitting closest to the fire, Hannah turned to me with a serious look on her face.

"Are you sure about this, though? It seems like this will be very dangerous."

"What adventure isn't? I suppose there will be quite some time before we reach the destination of our journey, the dwarves will teach us how to fight better, and they'll protect us on the way."

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who heard Thorin say he was not responsible for our fate." She looked at me, face full of sarcasm. Damn it, I had hoped she hadn't heard that.

"He might say that, but I have a hard time believing that the others wouldn't help us if we were in trouble."

"Hmmm. I don't know, I just don't think we'll be very safe."

"Obviously." Receiving a glare, I quickly continued: "But hey, Sorcerers' apprentice, ask Gandalf to teach you magic to protect yourself! Something powerful in a battle, like elemental magic!"

"Yeah, that'd be cool..." Grinning, she finally let go of her worries, well, at least for a bit.

"Good. Are you done worrying?"

"I think I'm fine for now, but I'll call you if the need to whine rises." Rolling her eyes at my tone, Hannah dismissed me.

Nodding to her, I left her to think. The trip will be no easy task; it will no doubt be taxing on us in all ways: physical, mental and emotional. We had to figure out a way to survive, and contribute to the group at the same time. As we were women, the men will no doubt ask us to oversee duties such as cooking, sewing, mending and binding wounds. For that we will need to know many things, most importantly, the herbs and their uses in Middle Earth. Hoping to find a small book in Bilbo's library on the subject, I slunk past a whispering couple of Balin and Thorin (who both watched me walk passed in the corner of their eyes) and started searching for a book on herbs in the many bookcases around Bilbo's home.

"Ah, here we go..." I muttered, finding the perfect book. Taking it with me, I walked back to the room with the fire place. Plunking down on the ground next to Hannah, I began reading.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to read for long. It seemed all the dwarves gathered in the room, most smoking their pipes, at which Hannah grimaced. Suddenly, all of the dwarves started humming. My eyebrows rose in surprise, and a quick glance at Hannah confirmed our mutual surprise. The air around us instantly filled with tension, as all the men in the room continued their humming into a song.

_Far over the Misty Mountains cold  
to dungeons deep and caverns old  
we must away ere break of day,  
to find our long-forgotten gold_

_The pines were roaring on the height  
The winds were moaning in the night  
The fire was red, it flaming spread  
The trees like torches blazed with light_

Their singing was beautiful, and it obviously reflected their feelings towards this mission of ours. They longed for their home, much like Hannah and I were beginning to miss ours. If this quest wasn't our best shot at getting home, I was sure we would have gone with the dwarves anyway, to help them get their home back.

After the song, things seemed to have calmed down considerably. Hannah yawned next to me, and I decided I should put down my new book for the night. Turning to Balin I quietly asked:

"When do we wake to leave tomorrow?" He smiled at me, obviously noticing how tired my friend and I were.

"It's alright, lassies, we'll wake you when the time comes. You should get some sleep in a bed while you can, we will not be stopping at inns during the journey." Nodding and smiling at his grandfatherly face, I slowly stood up, tugging Hannah's arm gently, receiving only a small groan of protest.

"C'mon, let's get an actual bed to sleep in..." Yawning, I tugged more harshly, and eventually she followed me out of the room, only leaving a trail of soft goodnights and nods in our stead.

We found two small vacant beds in a room that was most likely intended for guests. Without further thought, we removed our outer clothing and collapsed on the beds, passing out for the night.

* * *

A deep rumble coaxed me from my sleep.

Once I opened my eyes, the room was dark, so it must have only been a couple of hours since we fell asleep. Hannah still lay peacefully in the other small bed, seemingly not disturbed since I last laid eyes on her.

Then, the house rumbled again.

Rising up in my bed, all sleep forgotten, I quickly and silently dressed and left the room, Hannah still sleeping soundly. Carefully closing the door behind me I glanced around the dim halls. During the night, half the candles went out, making large dark shadows cast throughout the hallway, giving it a foreboding appearance.

My head snapped to the left hall. There was that rumble again! Determined to find the reason for the sound, I started tiptoe-ing closer to the origin of it.

There it was again! Wait, but now it's behind me..?

Turning around, I saw only a door to one of the rooms. Another rumble confirmed my suspicions: the thing making the noise is behind that door! Carefully, I twisted the handle and peeked through the crack, trying to make the least amount of sound possible.

Inside the room were dwarves. They were all sleeping in beds, and snoring loudly enough to make me think we were having an earthquake. Mouthing 'oooh' and giggling under my breath I closed the door, knowing well that I did not wish to disturb the group.

Curiosity sated, I started to walk around the house, as quiet as possible for me. I checked all the rooms, finding the dwarves all stuffed inside two relatively big rooms with beds. Since I was positive I will not be able to sleep until sunrise, I decided to start cleaning up.

The few more candles I found gave the halls and rooms a little more light, so I was able to see the mess left after the party. Surprisingly, the house wasn't that messy at all. All the food has been cleared out and the dishes washed, so all I had to do was straighten some stuff out and wash and sweep the floors. Well, the toilets would need cleaning too, but sorry, Bilbo, you're gonna have to take care of that yourself.

The hours passed quickly. The house was huge, so even if there wasn't much cleaning to do, it still took up a lot of time. Oddly, I did not notice the time slip by while humming and dancing quietly with a broom until the first light of dawn seeped through the windows. Around the same time grumbles and soft thuds of feet started to sound from the rooms the dwarves were in.

I put the broom away and started looking for breakfast. While I danced into the pantry, Fili swung open the door to the room, shushing the others behind him, muttering something about others still sleeping. I decided to surprise them and stuck my head out the pantry doorway.

"G'Mornin'!" I stage whispered, making Fili and Thorin, the first ones out the door lance at me with surprise on their face.

"Good morning, Lady Alice, I hope you slept well?" Weird, Thorin in the morning seemed a lot more... nice? Awake? Not so stuck up? Maybe the stick up his ass grows later in the day, though his voice still held that tired exasperation. Fili smiled and also muttered a hello.

"Oh, I only slept a couple of hours, woke up in the middle of the night and started cleaning, I figured it wasn't nice to leave Bilbo's home in such a messy state!" I grinned. Alright, a couple of things are becoming apparent about me now: 1. I am always sleepy when the sun is in the sky. 2. When I don't sleep enough, I become hyperactive and cheery and loopy and then crash horribly in about an hour. Let's hope we get on the ponies by then.

Thorin nodded, I guess that's his expression of slight gratitude, and ordered to wake up the others, Bombur first, so we could all get some breakfast, but to not wake Bilbo, as he will not be joining us. I saluted him, nodded to Fili and raced to Hannah's room, knowing she'll appreciate the time to get ready even though she'll hate me for waking her up (again). I threw open the door to "our" room and jumped inside, half expecting her to already be awake. Only a mop of red hair sticking out of the covers of the second bed destroyed those expectations. Skipping across the room, I leaned over her head, my long hair hanging next to hers.

"Hannah... Hannah..." I sang. Receiving no response, I sighed, grabbed her blanket and tugged it away from her face.

"Hannah, wake up." I said more sternly, feeling the need to crash slowly creeping up on me. She needed to hurry up! Her eyebrow twitched, but she remained still otherwise. I stopped breathing for a second, listening to her breath. It was different than before, so she was already awake.

"Get up! Or we're leaving without you!" I threw the covers back on her face and stepped away, grabbing my last scattered things.

"What..?Already? What time is it?" Her croaky morning voice and squinty eyes met mine as she tried to clamber out of the sheets.

"Just after dawn. Thorin told me to wake everyone up, so get dressed and ready quickly and come down for breakfast." I said dully, all cheer gone from my voice. I only wanted to sleep, and soon. Seeing her nod from the corner of my eye, I strode out of the room, closing the door behind me and set out to find the dwarves to wake up.

20 minutes later a slightly sleepy and groggy company was gathered around the same table, waiting for breakfast that was being put into plates by Bombur and Ori. Waking the dwarves was less of a challenge than I thought it would be, since they were all eager to leave for the quest. That did not mean some of them were not almost falling asleep at the table along with me. Hannah seemed alright, if not a bit dull as well, but the warm cup of tea in her hands seemed to be helping. I, on the other hand, was practically asleep; my head lay on my crossed arms on top of the table, eyes unfocused, and glasses askew. Hannah glanced in my direction.

"What's wrong with you?" Some dwarves glanced our way.

"I didn't sleep much. Woke up a couple of hours ago and cleaned the place up." That earned me a couple of 'well done's and 'thank you's, though I barely remember what was said by who. The soft murmur of morning conversations threatened to lull me to sleep.

"Your scrambled eggs are here." Hannah's dead pan voice directed to me temporarily snapped me out of my sleepiness.

"Oh thank you so much Bombur..." I let out a breath, immediately grabbing a fork and shoveling food into my mouth.

Breakfast passed relatively quickly also. I ate the food, I drank the tea, I washed and put away my dishes almost on auto-pilot, I don't even remember much of it. Soon, it was time to leave the house, and Bilbo.

I gathered all my things and Bilbo's book'o'nature, as I started calling it my head, and followed Hannah to the front door. While we gathered all our cloaks, the men struck up a conversation.

"D'you think Mister Baggins wants to come with us after all? Maybe we should wake him, to say goodbye at least?" Kili said to Hannah, though it was clear the question was for all of us, while pulling on his coat.

"Do not wake the hobbit. He made his decision clear last night. I doubt he would be of much help anyway." Thorin grumbled, heaving his pack onto his shoulders. The packs were heavy, since we all gathered some left over food and skins full of water each, not to mention the bed rolls and the weapons strapped to us. Man, were Hannah and I gonna be sore in the morning.

"He'll probably wake up and think this was all a dream. I almost did the same thing." Hannah quietly said, chuckling and shaking her head. Kili smiled at her goofily, while I choked down the imaginary vomit over their sweet display.

"I bet he'd go after us if he was given the choice." I grumble, throwing on the last of the things on my back.

My words caused a massive dwarven bet. Note to self: don't say 'I bet' as a joke around the company.

Immediately, the group divided into the ones that bet with me and the ones that did not believe Bilbo had the balls to come after us. Apparently, the trigger for his decision would be the contract, which Balin conveniently set somewhere in sight for him.

After the commotion, we grabbed the last of our things and stepped into the light morning sun. The slight chill in the air woke me up a little bit, but not enough to raise my mood. Hannah, who was making googly eyes and whispering something to Kili was completely unaffected by anything around her, though.

I clambered sleepily after Dwalin, eyes half closed. Rumble snorted a horsey hello to me, so I fed him an apple to be polite. Soon, we were all on our ponies and heading out of the Shire, while I was trying to get into a position where I could sleep and not fall off of the pony. I put my forehead on Rumble, glancing one last time at Hannah, who just rolled her eyes at me and continued to make small talk with the younger dwarves instead of waking me up, and fell asleep, the last thought echoing in my head... I'm going on an adventure!


	6. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

I was rudely awoken by Bilbo's shrill voice shouting for our merry sleepy caravan to stop. The good thing about that though, was that I won the bet, which means money for me! Unfortunately, that meant I had to get up and collect my winnings from my fellow travelers. Raising up from my position on the pony (and feeling painful sensations in my legs from my poor position) I wearily blinked my sleepiness away and backhandedly moved my hair out of my face. Hearing a giggle that no doubt came from my only female buddy of the two legged variety in the company, I turned my head, still looking like a zombie, and blinked at the sickly adorable sight before my eyes.

Kili's pony was walking as close as possible to Hannah's, so close that it actually looked quite uncomfortable for them. As if that wasn't enough, the rider was also leaning over to my friend, who was blushing and giggling. I've never seen anything like it. Disgusting.

Since everyone in front of me stopped, I had no other choice but to stop as well. If Bilbo caught up with us, I haven't even been asleep for an hour. I feel like I should just fall down and die. Seems like I won't be starting this adventure on a cheery note.

I vaguely heard Thorin command a pony to be given for Bilbo, while trying to keep my eyes open. Hannah I heard a lot more clearly, as she rode her pony next to me.

"Still asleep?"

"..Uhuh..."

"Need some help?"

"Just kill me, please..."

"Okey dokey!"

Next thing I know, my cheek hurt. Mother ducking wench slapped me!

"Thanks... But this sooo calls for revenge later on, you know that, right?"

"Great..." She winced, riding away from me, cradling her palm, which probably stung like a bitch, just like my face.

The convoy started to move again, so I waited long enough to barely catch a sack of coins flying my way before I fell on my face to sleep again. Just before blackness overtook me I felt Fili take my reigns from my limp hands and murmured a thank you in his direction.

Riding, riding and more riding was what I had to live with ever since I woke up when we stopped at noon near a spring for twenty minutes, enough to eat and drink and do your business and move on. We rode all day, trying to cover as much land as possible without tiring out the ponies. Don't get me wrong, the view of this land we were magically cast off to was beautiful, but my but has honestly never been so sore in my life. When we finally stopped it had been just before nightfall, so we quickly set up camp on a cliff and lit a fire (even though I disagreed with it, as it cast a light and made our location pretty obvious for anything or anyone that looked in this direction from miles away).

This was how I found myself playing with sticks in the dirt, trying to stave off boredom and occasionally chatting with Fili as all of the youngest ones have been assigned with watch duty. Gandalf chose to sit up with us, probably because it was hard to fall asleep over the snoring of our companions anyway. My dear buddy assumed her position of flirting with the beardless (or at least kind of) dwarf next to the fire. It was a surprisingly cold night, and the moon lit up my drawings of stars and smiles in the dirt nicely. Adding a last smile to my masterpiece I sat up. Throwing my drawing utensils to the side, and walked closer to the fire to warm my numb hands. I figured I had sat enough during the day, so I chose to stand in front of Hannah on the other side of the fire.

Just after I saw our hobbit tip toe next to his pony, the screeching started. My hand immediately fell onto my dagger, ever present on my waist, guard up, back straight, eyes taking in everything around me. Thorin, just like me, jumped up from his place on the ground, alert.

"What was that?" Bilbo was just as alarmed as we were. Hannah was tense, holding onto Kili's arm, looking ready to bolt on the first sign of trouble.

"Orcs." One of the brothers answered between the far away screams. Bilbo echoed the word, slightly alarmed, yet also confused.

"Are those the fugly goblin things?" I wondered quietly, a bit more calm since I didn't see anyone being too alarmed by the sounds we were hearing, but not ready to relax either.

"Y-yeah, I think so..." Timidly answered Hannah. She was visibly nervous and getting closer to Kili. I frowned, concerned. Seeing how we were unsure, the other brother decided to "explain".

"Throat-cutters. There'll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands are crawling with them." He seemed perfectly fine with the idea, like it was nothing to worry about. Yeah, "throat-cutters" sounds like nothing to worry about at all! Kili also added to that.

"They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet; no screams, just lots of blood." He emphases his words with a shake of his head and an intense look into Hannah's eyes. Now she was really obviously scared, at least to me.

And then they started laughing. Laughing right now seemed the last thing to do. Did they think this was funny?! Or did they only care about how hilarious the scared look in Bilbo and Hannah's eyes was?!

"You think that's funny?!" The fury filled sentence flew out of my mouth at the same time as Thorin's, making our voices entwine, causing us to glance at each other momentarily, before Thorin continued. I may be wrong, but I think I saw a respectful glint in those yes! Nah, I was probably wrong.

"You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?" It certainly was not. Immediately my overactive imagination started throwing different scenarios of such a raid at me. I shook my head to clear the thoughts of the blood and those same scared eyes. Hannah scooted away from Kili, but kept close to the wall and fire. Good, she's not letting her guard down too much.

The brothers thankfully had enough sense to look a bit embarrassed.

"We didn't mean anything by it."

"No, you didn't. You know nothing of the world." Thorin grumbled angrily, walking away from the fire. I walked around the flames, careful to not singe my clothes, threw a glare Kili and Fili's way (hopefully they'll feel even worse), and stood next to Hannah, back to the wall, observing my surroundings, hastily pushing my glasses up, to be sure I wasn't going to miss anything.

Hannah scooted closer to me and rested her head against my leg, seeking comfort. In my angry state, that was annoying, but I couldn't deprive her of that, so I calmly rested my palm on her shoulder.

Our brief overview of the noises of the night apparently had a bigger audience than I thought, because not even a minute after, Balin came forward, closer to the fire.

"Don't mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs. After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy had got there first."

His speech was full of memory, of sorrow, like remembering those days was painful, but necessary.

"Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs lead by the most vile of all their race: Azog, the Defiler." EW, nasty name, I did not wanna know what he did to get it. "The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by beheading the King." That looked like it was painful to say. Those six words raised tension all around the camp, and I spied some of our sleeping companions already with their eyes open, listening to the tale, remembering, ghosts of the past flashing across their dimmed eyes.

"Thrain, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing, taken prisoner or killed, we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us." It was obvious from the looks of the dwarves faces (which were all no longer in a horizontal position), who had been in this old battle. Most had the same look of past despair and terror, the creeping feeling of defeat reflecting in their faces, others- looks of respect, grief and understanding.

"That is when I saw him." The smile and look at Thorin turned the sorrow into pride, at least partially. "A young dwarf prince facing down the Pale stood alone against this terrible foe, his armor rent…wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield." OH, Oakenshield! THAT's what that was about! I thought that was just a fancy last name!

"Azog, the Defiler, learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken." So... is he dead? Clarify, please! I don't want a big pale ass of orc trying to hunt me down!

"Our forces rallied and drove the orcs back. Our enemy had been defeated. But there was no feast, no song, that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived." The tension, grief and sorrow in the air hit me like a ton of bricks again. Hannah's arm squeezed my leg - I was not alone in this.

"And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call King." Man, Balin could make Thorin president with this speech! Well, King, but whatever.

I could barely see Thorin behind the other dwarves that got up from the ground during the speech and were standing in silence.

"But the Pale Orc? What happened to him?" Yes! Thank you, Bilbo, for reminding me! Is the bitch dead or not?!

"He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago." Thorin grumbled moodily. This concerned me. He did not see the body, so the chance of the orc still being out there, trying to hunt him down was still there, even if it was small. My thoughts must have reflected on my face, because I noticed Gandalf looking my way with the same worried and wondering expression. This is really not sitting well with me.

Since everyone was awake, I figured it was alright to let my guard down and sleep for a bit. Gandalf and Dwalin were supposed to wake us up earlier than others for our first lesson tomorrow.

I sat my butt down next to my friend, our shoulders leaning together.

"You ok?" If I didn't show any concern she would have gotten angry like she was my girlfriend or something. Silly girl.

"Yeah, I'm fine, this just suddenly seems a lot more real, you know?"

"Yeah... But to tell you the truth I think its better this way. We're more focused now."

"I guess so..." She looked down, shrugging. Sighing I threw my only blanket over our shoulders.

"Get some sleep; we have a long day tomorrow." She sighed too, accepting the warmth I was offering.

"Goodnight."

"Night."

We slept, the cries of the far away orcs still echoing in our ears.

* * *

A.N.: Short chapter, sorry. You may have noticed that I don't update regulary, but collage has been a bitch. I know this is what everyone says, but I would very much like to ask you to review. Tell me whats wrong, what you like, what you hate, how I could improve my writing and the story, please! Also, reviews give me motivation to update, so please, tell me what you think! :)


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